Dear Dr. G,I am in my early twenties and started having sexual relationships about a year ago. I have no previous experience, but my girlfriend believes that I might be suffering from premature ejaculation (PE).I often wonder why I can control the timing during masturbation, but when it comes to sexual intercourse, I seem to get excited and climax too quickly. Honestly, I’m not sure if I actually have PE, as I don’t know what is considered normal.As we begin the new year, I want to put Dr G on the spot for clarification regarding the timing matters of sex.First, can you tell me how long the average man lasts in bed?If I do suffer from PE, what qualifies as “too fast” for ejaculation?Additionally, what tests are performed to diagnose this condition?What is considered an ideal duration for sex?What timing is deemed too long or too short?Should we even stress about the timing of sexual intercourse?Incidentally, Happy New Year!Yours truly,Timing Timothy Premature ejaculation is one of the most frequently discussed male sexual concerns. According to the International Society of Sexual Medicine, premature ejaculation is a male sexual dysfunction characterised by ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs very soon after vaginal penetration, an inability to delay ejaculation on almost all penetrations, and negative personal consequences such as distress, frustration, or avoidance of sexual intimacy. The society further distinguishes between lifelong premature ejaculation, in which ejaculation occurs from the very first sexual experiences and typically within about one minute of penetration, and acquired premature ejaculation, in which there is a reduction in ejaculation time after a period of previously normal function, often to around three minutes or less. These criteria underline the importance of consistency and impact on quality of life, rather than relying solely on an arbitrary time cut-off. Understanding what constitutes “normal” ejaculation timing is equally important. There is no single normal duration that applies to all men or all sexual encounters. Large population studies measuring intravaginal ejaculatory latency time, which is the time from vaginal penetration to ejaculation, have demonstrated a broad range of expected values. In a well-known multinational study, the median intravaginal ejaculatory latency time was approximately 5.5 minutes, with considerable variation across individuals and countries. Some men naturally ejaculate in two or three minutes and experience no distress, while others may last much longer. Therefore, normality is best understood as a spectrum rather than a fixed target, and premature ejaculation represents a point at which short latency is combined with lack of control and negative consequences. In research and clinical trials, ejaculation timing is most commonly assessed using intravaginal ejaculatory latency time. This is often measured with a stopwatch, typically started at the moment of vaginal penetration and stopped at ejaculation, sometimes by the sexual partner. Stopwatch measurement is considered the most objective method and has been widely used to establish diagnostic thresholds and treatment outcomes. In routine clinical practice, however, many clinicians rely on patient-estimated latency times rather than strict stopwatch measurements. This is partly because stopwatch timing can feel intrusive or anxiety-provoking. Regardless of the method used, timing is interpreted alongside perceived control and distress rather than in isolation. One of the most widely used tools is the Premature Ejaculation Diagnostic Tool, a short questionnaire that assesses perceived control over ejaculation, frequency of rapid ejaculation, ejaculation with minimal stimulation, personal distress, and interpersonal difficulty. Scores above established thresholds suggest probable or definite premature ejaculation and can help clinicians identify men who may benefit from further evaluation or treatment. Another commonly used instrument is the Premature Ejaculation Profile, which focuses on control, distress, interpersonal difficulty, and satisfaction with sexual intercourse. These questionnaires do not replace a clinical interview, but they provide standardised ways to quantify symptoms and monitor response to therapy. Estimates of the worldwide prevalence of premature ejaculation vary widely, largely because different studies use different definitions and methods. Surveys that ask men whether they feel they ejaculate too quickly often report prevalence rates in the range of 20-30%, reflecting the common experience of dissatisfaction with ejaculation timing at some point in life. In contrast, studies that apply stricter diagnostic criteria, incorporating specific latency thresholds, lack of control, and distress, generally report lower prevalence figures, often between 5-15%. When lifelong premature ejaculation is defined narrowly as ejaculation consistently within about one minute from first sexual experience, prevalence estimates are even lower, commonly cited at around 2-4% of men. These differences highlight the importance of distinguishing between subjective concern and clinically defined premature ejaculation. Normal ejaculation timing varies widely, and a short duration alone does not necessarily indicate a disorder. Clinically significant premature ejaculation is defined by consistently short latency, impaired control, and meaningful distress or interpersonal difficulty, assessed through a combination of sexual history, timing estimates, and validated questionnaires. Worldwide prevalence figures depend heavily on how the condition is defined, ranging from a minority of men when strict criteria are applied to a much larger proportion when subjective dissatisfaction is included. Appreciating these distinctions is essential for accurate diagnosis, appropriate counselling, and effective treatment. When Dr G is put on the spot regarding Premature Ejaculation, his view is: “Timing matters in sex, no matter if you let it be your everything!” On that timely note, have an Amazing 2026!
