Dear Dr G,

I would like to ask about something that is quite embarrassing.

I am 25 years old and have had numerous experiences in sexual encounters with multiple partners.

I recently started feeling a bit self-conscious when my recent ex-girlfriend mentioned that I may suffer from premature ejaculation.

I must confess, she is not the first one. My previous girlfriends have said that they wished intimacy was a bit prolonged.

Luckily, my previous partners were less direct in telling me I am not that good in bed, instead of telling me straight in my face!

The point is, like most men, I have my good and bad days.

How does one diagnose premature ejaculation?

Besides, do men really know how fast they ejaculate? How quick is quick when it comes to early ejaculation? And do people actually time the action?

You have previously mentioned something about medication. I am not a big fan of drugs. I hear there are techniques such as stop-start methods and squeeze techniques. Exactly how are these done?

So sorry to put you on the spot, but can you outline how long does one stop for and how hard does one squeeze? And also, where exactly do you squeeze?

Looking forward to your reply.



When it comes to sex, it is obvious that performance varies between men. The hardness of erections and quickness of ejaculation during intercourse are clearly dependent on how aroused men get and their state of health and state of mind during intimacy.

According to the International Society of Sexual Medicine (ISSM), men who suffer from PE (premature ejaculation) experience the problem on almost all occasions.

In research done on men with PE, the timing from the point of penetration to ejaculation during the sexual act is around one minute.

Besides, men who suffer from PE also encounter the problems of inability to control and delay ejaculation, which eventually leads to some degree of distress.

In reality, most men have no idea how long they last. The interval of one minute is demonstrable when the timing is recorded during sexual acts under scientific investigations.

In all the studies, the measurement of Intravaginal Ejaculatory Latency Time (IELT) is to determine how quick is quick for men who are considered as suffering from PE.

Believe it or not, the measurement of IELT is by asking sexual partners to activate a stopwatch upon penetration, and by recording when ejaculation occurs.

Although this is perceived to be a crude and unnatural way of outlining the timing of sex, there is really no other method of determining it.

The stop-start technique was popularised in 1960s during the sexual revolution of the flower-power generation.

The sex experts of the time, William Masters and Virginia Johnson, proposed the idea that if a man can identify the timing just before climax, he can instantly stop intercourse to “cool down”.

The recommendation was to stop the excitement for a minute or so, and continue afterwards. One can imagine the strategy is neither practical nor warmly accepted by couples.

The “squeeze technique” was also introduced by the expert duo in the 1950s. This was meant to overcome the problem of PE, by inducing discomfort on the erect penis, again just before reaching climax.

The squeeze at the head of the penis for about 30 seconds would naturally cause it to be flaccid. Men with PE are encouraged to continue to repeat this several times in order the prolong the sexual experience.

PE is a one of the commonest sexual dysfunctions encountered by men all around the world. In some studies, it is noted to have a prevalence of as high as one in three.

Jay is spot on when he suggests that most men have no idea how quick or slow they ejaculate.

If the timing of sex is causing a rift between couples and adversely affecting the self-esteem of the sufferer, it is definitely important to seek medical attention.

Dr G is often put on the spot for best methods for guys to delay ejaculations.

He reckons that one can eventually get it right with the constant exploration of various techniques.

If all else fails, there is always medication, so why get so hung up on timing?

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