Hi Dr. G,

I have been suffering from premature ejaculation (PE) of even on the first day I got married. I’m now over 40 but the problem persists and gotten worse. I have become increasingly disinterested in sex.

I wouldn’t say I am sexually active and I’m definitely not the type who visits the brothels, or spas with “extra services”. I have never had “other” girlfriends but of late, I am thinking of exploring these options.

My sex life with the wife is far from normal. In my “luckiest” year I had sex 12 times, but in many of those married years, we don’t have sex at all.

Now, I think it’s time to man-up to regain my manhood by asking professional help.

I am also worried about my mental state, as it has not been stable for many years. It has gotten worse and I’ve started thinking that my children are not mine and am acting aggressively towards others.

Man to be a man

The issue of premature ejaculation (PE) faster is probably as old as humanity. Ancient Greece even documented a condition called ejaculation ante porta, which literally translates to “ejaculation before entry”. This most likely describes a severe form of PE.

It was not until 1887 that medical literature described PE as a medical condition, starting future research into the prevalence and intervention for such sexual dysfunction.

In recent years, the International Society of Sexual Medicine (ISSM) has defined PE which include a short interval of intercourse of about one minute upon penetration, and a lack of control resulting in distress in men and their partners.

In recent years, the Premature Ejaculation Prevalence and Attitude (Pepa) study has shown that as many as one in five men suffer from PE in Europe and the United States, while the Asia Pacific Pepa says that the number can be as high as one in three men!

Another important study of men with PE also demonstrated important insight – the psyche of couples facing the issues. Men with PE have less self-confidence both inside and outside the bedroom and in severe untreated cases, this may even result in depression and aggression.

The recognition of PE as a medical condition and its high prevalence has increased the urgency for a solution to “slow down the fast love”. The realisation that PE is not a neurotic or psychosomatic disorder has also prompted medical intervention, instead of simply asking the sufferers to distract their minds during sex. The approval of medications such as Dupoxetine for the treatment has certainly helped tremendously as well.

The only issue that remains is for men with PE is to actually seek treatment for it.

The American performer and actor, Eddie Cantor, once said; ” It’s not only the scenery you miss by going fast; you also miss the sense of where you are going and why”.

It is often easy for others to tell a man suffering from “fast love” to “man-up” and slow down between the sheets. In reality, the primary etiology for PE is not simply anxiety or nervousness that triggers the early climax, but complex depletion of neurotransmitters such as serotonin.

For with men PE, Dr G says; “It’s not only the love-making you miss by going fast, you also miss the sense of where your relationship is going and why!”

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