Menopausal woman can’t cope with horny husband in an empty house

Dear Dr G,

My husband and I are both 54 and have been married for nearly 25 years.

We have two grown-up children who recently graduated and are now working abroad, which leaves us an empty house for us to do whatever we want, anywhere we want.

Unfortunately, I entered menopause three years ago and am struggling with hot flashes and low libido.

However, my husband is super active sexually and I just cannot keep up.

I think something is not quite right with him as he gets horny all the time.

Is it possible that his testosterone levels are above normal levels? How does testosterone affect men’s sexual performance?

Yours truly,

Wife of Testosterone Tom

Testosterone is produced primarily in men’s testicles and women’s ovaries, The hormone plays a vital role in various bodily functions, including muscle and bone growth, mood regulation – and of course, sexual desire.

Testosterone has a direct impact as it influences the appetite for sexual activity. Past research on hormones and female sexuality has tended to focus solely on reproduction aspects. In men, the focus has been on its role in sexual performance such as ability to achieve an erection.

Although this male sex hormone is perceived to fuel both libido and sexual performance, its impact on sexual performance is slightly more complex.

On one hand, low testosterone levels can lead to symptoms like erectile dysfunction or difficulties achieving orgasm. On the other hand, high testosterone levels cannot guarantee peak performance in the bedroom as other factors such as emotional connection, stress levels, and overall physical health are also crucial.

While testosterone gets less attention in women, smaller amounts of it remain a key factor in boosting libido, arousal and sexual satisfaction. Adequate testosterone levels contribute to better sexual well-being for women, just as they do for men.

Testosterone levels appear to be significantly linked with both the type of intimate relationships men and women engage in and their sexual behaviour, according to new research published by London School Of Hygiene in Journal of Sex Research.

The researchers measured testosterone in saliva samples from nearly 4,000 adults and used questionnaires to investigate links between androgen quantity and how people express their sexuality.

Men with higher levels of the hormone were more likely to have had more than one sexual partner at the same time in the last five years and to have engaged in recent heterosexual vaginal sex. On the other hand, testosterone levels were significantly higher in women who reported solitary sexual activity more recently and frequently.

Testosterone production and levels can be influenced by various factors such as age, lifestyle choices, chronic illnesses, stress, medication and even sleep patterns.

On the other hand, the frequency of sexual intercourse is also influenced by many other aspects, including emotional connection, relationship dynamics and personal preferences. Therefore the influence of testosterone on sexual performance is complex and difficult to quantify.

The question of testosterone levels and sexual performance should be approached with a holistic mindset. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, managing stress and getting enough sleep are essential for optimal testosterone levels.

Prioritising overall health and well-being, maintaining open communication with partners are more important to contribute to a more fulfilling sexual experience.

So when put on the spot about testosterone, Dr G says: “Why not celebrate the hormone as one of the many contributors to a happy and satisfying love life – and enjoy it while it lasts!”